This is the dilemma I face lately...

As I have mentioned in a few of my recent posts, I am tired.  I have a few explanations - the fact that I get to bed late, my increase in biking (versus October) and work-related stress.  The "getting to bed late" part is the one I can really control.  However, my only alone time with my wife is after 8pm when all the kids are in bed.  I want to spend as much time as I can doing stuff with her (which is why we've gone to sleep at 11:00 or later for the past 2 weeks!); however, I really should get to bed by 9:30 or 10:00 at the latest or I will crash and burn at some point!

So what do I do?

I will be staying up again tonight...probably...I think...yea, that's what I'll do.

Crash and burn, here I come,
Brad

Bike troubles...

First, an injury update...

My older son is still limping, but the x-ray came back negative.  He probably just pulled a muscle or strained some soft tissue in another way.  I'd say he should rest and stay off his leg for a while, but I don't think boys his age know how to do that unless they are really sick.

For the first time in a while, Aldetha is out of commission.  This morning while performing my pre-trip inspection, I found that her front tire was about 50% flat.  I attributed the air loss to the sub-zero temperatures overnight and used our full-size manual pump to inflate the tire.  It stayed inflated through my entire morning commute and seemed solid when I got to OCC.  This afternoon I decided to check her out before I got changed into my biking clothes.  Sure enough, the tire was flat again - this time entirely!  My portable air pump was ineffective and I didn't have a spare tire anyway.  I had my family pick me up and Aldetha will be headed to Padi's Pedal for a replacement tire and a long overdue accessory installation (my family got me some side-racks for Fathers' Day that require professional installation with my old-school rear rack) and overall check-up.  My older son's bike also needs some reassembly work.  I think we'll be able to get them in and out by Thursday so I can get back to biking by Friday.

I definitely need to keep up on my exercise.  I feel so much better when I do and it is the only way I can survive the holidays without adding extra weight (I know I do not have the self-control to maintain my weight by limiting calories.)

"It's the most fattening time of the year,"
Brad

Injury updates...

In honor of my Utes win over "they who must not be named" from Provo, and my Chicago Bears' win over the Eagles, I thought I'd post something football related about my family.  I love football and other sports analogies, but they have been horribly overused and abused by our society.  I will therefore go with the standard injury update.

Daddy [likely] - minor stomach pains after eating fatty foods (pecan pie and milk chocolate being the latest culprits); general fatigue from lack of an early bedtime; continued sharp left elbow pain (when pressure is applies) from fall 3-4 weeks ago (I was holding my daughter and my elbow took the full force of my backwards fall.)

Mommy [likely] - neck and head pain from "throwing out" her adjustment from last week; fatigue (see Daddy); foot pain (wore some awesome - and hot - boots to church today; unfortunately, they lack support for standing/walking for long periods of time)

Older son [questionable] - hip pain and accompanying limp (possibly from injury 2 weeks ago), x-ray taken on Friday but no report yet; possible fatigue manifested by sleeping-in more than his siblings (he could also be turning into a tweenager)

Younger son [likely] - no injuries to report

Daughter [likely] - fatigue (though she slept for 11 consecutive hours last night); minor "bonkahead" as she calls them (no concussion indicated); moderate Mommy separation anxiety.

Overall, we are favored to survive this week.  The spread is 7.5 and the over/under is 44.5,
Brad

Saturday is(n't) a special day...

Well, I did accomplish a lot today. The boys bedding got washed, as did another load of laundry. Two loads of dishes got washed, the upstairs hardwood got "vacuumed" and the entryway stairs got swept. I also got grades completely caught up in over a third of my classes. Overall, very productive. Plus the Utes won. Who cares how they won, the point is: they won! I didn't watch any of it - I don't know if I could have even if I wanted to. I would have turned it off after the 13-0 score in the 3rd quarter.

So why is today not special? I don't know. I really needed to get some OCC work done, but I think that is the culprit. My mood (and I'm pretty sure my family's mood) takes a bit of a dive when I spend lots of time on the computer (most of my grading and "work" is through OCC's online portal "Ocean Cruiser" or the more general "Blackboard")

So what am I doing typing a blog entry when I've already spent all day on the computer? My wife is downstairs and I think she is done with her Primary preparation. I think I'll go downstairs and see if she wants some company.

I know I could use some,
Brad

Black Friday...

My "Black Friday" started late on Thursday at Toys R Us. I drove by at 11:30 to see over 200 people lined up still waiting to get in (they opened at 10pm!) I quickly drove on to Walmart.

Walmart does not close anymore. How, you may ask, do they handle time-sensitive sales, then? Well, they wrap the goods in black plastic and put employees of various levels of effectiveness as "guards" to prevent anyone from buying anything. Depending on which employee you got, you were allowed to (a) TOUCH & SEE NOTHING; (b) look, but don't touch; (c) pick what you want, but stay on the spot until 12am; (d) take what you want and go stand in line to wait to check-out at 12am; (e) "I'm not sure what's going on, so..., whatever!" Needless to say, I didn't find much and I plan to never go to Walmart for Black Friday again.

The family and I headed out to join my wife in her mid-morning sales run. We ended up staying out until 4pm! We got lots of good stuff, but were not as organized as we would like...(grrr!) The Asbury Park Press did not deliver our paper yesterday. I lodged complaints both online and via the phone system (nobody was at work) so we got both yesterday and today's paper today! A lot of good that does us! Asbury Park Press, welcome to my "enemies list"...say hello to Walmart.

Our last errand was over to Community Hospital to get an X-ray of my oldest son's hip. He's been limping and complaining of pain for over a week and our chiropractor recommended we get him checked just in case his growth plate or something else more serious is damaged (just to be safe!) We'll get the results tomorrow - so I'll let you know what's up then.

Time to eat ice cream and watch something silly,
Brad

Thanksgiving Day!

We had an absolutely fabulous time at our Thanksgiving dinner. Although the food was awesome, the socializing was really the best. From the moment I walked through the door I was continuously involved in conversations on topics from football to homeschooling, parenting to politics, career to cooking. My two younger kids probably didn't get enough to eat because they were so busy playing with all their friends. My oldest probably got enough just because he is more mature and is beginning to turn into a tweenager.

The downside of such an exciting social event is that my kids all came home somewhat crabby. No nap, general fatigue, low blood sugar, post sugar-high letdown, over stimulation - you can take your pick as far as explanation. By 7pm they were all in bed and by 7:30 they were all asleep.

I would love to be in bed asleep; however, I have the late-night post-Thanksgiving shopping run (my wife is taking the mid-morning run.) I will be headed out for 10pm and 12am sales. Hopefully the real crazies will be waiting for the HDTVs, laptops, and blu-ray players that go on sale between 3am and 5am (after I'm home in bed!)

Mmmmm, home in bed,
Brad

Continuing our only Thanksgiving tradition...

My wife and I brought very few family traditions regarding Thanksgiving Day to our marriage in 1999. From 1999-2001 we actually went to both sides of the family for some part of Thanksgiving. When we moved to California in 2002, we had a two-year tradition of eating out for Thanksgiving dinner - which is when I first had duck. That died with 2004 as we hosted family members who were visiting California to escape the cold of Utah and 2005 as we hosted even more family members and friends from our ward. In 2006 we traveled to Utah for Thanksgiving. We spent Thanksgiving Day with my in-laws and that Saturday with my family.

Our move to New Jersey and my teaching schedule at OCC ended any traveling over Thanksgiving. We invited a couple and their infant son over to our apartment for 2007. By 2008 we had moved into our home and we hosted the missionaries and a larger family from the ward. In 2009 we hosted the missionaries, a family from the ward, and one of my wife's former mission companions and her family (husband and 3 children.) This year we decided to just have a quiet Thanksgiving at home (unless we got an invitation from someone - which we did and we are so excited to go!)

Aside from the Thanksgiving Day meal/socializing, we have tried different "traditions" out to make the Thanksgiving holiday more meaningful. We tried having a "Thankful Tree." Beginning 1-2 weeks before Thanksgiving you cut-out pieces of construction paper (beginning with brown for the truck and branches and proceeding to red, orange & yellow for the leaves), write one thing you are thankful for on the paper, and tape the paper to the wall as part of the "tree" you are forming. You put one piece from each family member on the tree each day. By Thanksgiving Day you have a fabulous Fall-looking tree with all the wonderful things you are thankful for written all over it. This lasted from either 2004 or 2005 through 2008. I think we may have tried to start it last year, but we never even mentioned it this year.

The tradition that has really become a tradition is our Thanksgiving Eve dinner. This tradition started in 2005 and involves us preparing and eating (on the night before Thanksgiving) the Thanksgiving meal that Charlie Brown prepared for his friends on the "Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" special: toast, popcorn, jelly beans (preferably Jelly Belly), pretzels, and a parfait. After the meal, we watch the special (along with Garfield's Thanksgiving.)

This year's edition of that tradition was awesome. My daughter loved it (it was the first year she could really appreciate it) and my boys enjoyed seeing her reaction to it. My wife found a great smoothie mix to use as the parfait and I picked up a quart each of Soy Nog and Soy Chocolate-Mint Milk to accompany the meal. We made too much popcorn, so we had to eat the rest while watching the two specials.

Overall, a fabulous evening. If you want to see pictures of our meal, you'll have to find my wife on Facebook!

Brad

A cycling issue...

As most of you know, I commute via bicycle on a regular basis. There are a few things that will prevent me from biking no matter how I feel: Winds over 20mph and snow/ice. Aside from occasional illness or outright laziness, I am pretty dedicated. I try to avoid the major roads in my commute (Jersey drivers scare me and the roads normally don't have big shoulders) so I end up in a lot of suburban neighborhoods. My commute is normally a time to prepare myself for the day ahead or unwind and relax in anticipation of enjoying my family.

I bike into work early enough that idiot drivers are not normally a problem. The ride home, however, is usually around the regular commute time for everyone else. This increases the number of drivers and their aggressiveness. That I can understand, so I am more vigilant when riding home. The thing that really bugs me (probably because it happened just today) is when someone honks in close proximity to me when I'm biking. I don't care what other motivation you may have to honk at someone - the only time the horn should be used is for imminent danger! This is especially true when cyclists are around. For us, there is no such thing as a "hi there" honk or anything like that. All honks are loud, startling and rude when done near a cyclist. Unless there is imminent danger, honking near a cyclist is plain wrong.

There. I'm glad I got that out of my system. Now I can quit fantasizing about shooting the tires and windows out of the next car that honks at me! (maybe)

Brad

Trying to change for the better...

Some experiences this past weekend have caused me to really look at my relationship with the members of my immediate family (wife and kids) very critically. As I have done so, I realize that I am definitely not being the husband or father I want to be.

With that realization in hand, I needed to determine the cause. And guess what...it was me. I mentioned on Saturday that my oldest was kind of moody. Today when I got home from work, even though it was really late (6pm) I came in with a positive attitude (I chose to do that!) I spoke only in a positive or calm voice, especially when offering correction to my children. The change in my behavior definitely set a much better tone for peaceful conflict resolution.

I haven't had much of a chance to talk with my wife (I mean really talk) so I don't know how our interaction will turn out. I do know that I am very happy and that I feel very close to her.

Did you have an amazing day at work? you might ask. No, not really. I enjoyed teaching, but even more bad news (RIFs and the like) came down today. So I am convinced the independent variable was my attitude and effort.

So now what? Now I finish this post and go about wooing my wife, that's what!

wink, wink, nudge, nudge, "know what I mean?"
Brad

Short for Sunday...

It's Sunday so I'll only make two comments:

1. We finally remembered how to win!
The past 3 weeks have made me very nervous about next week's game at Rice-Eccles - the two teams are headed in the wrong directions for my comfort.

2. I really like Governor Christie.



Brad

A day of transition...

Well, my escapism and avoidance only lasted so long. I had nightmares most of last night - all of them involved being stalked or hunted down by some ominous hunter (not Hirogen, though, that would have been at least somewhat cool.) I woke up feeling agitated - and it showed in how I dealt with my family. I think that may be why my oldest has had such a sassy/moody day - he's keyed into his dad's mood a little too much.

Well, I was able to break out of my mood through raking leaves with the whole family. We threw ourselves into the front yard with 3 rakes and 2 garbage cans. My boys had already filled 11 bags before today and we got at least another 15 before we ran out of bags. We didn't even get to the leaves on the smaller side of our driveway - and that's just the front yard. The back yard is at least twice as big and has not been raked this Fall. Hard labor is ahead!

After finishing the leaves my younger son and I went over to Rich's II for their "last day of the season 1/2-price sale." We got 1/2 gallon of vanilla (for Thanksgiving pies) and 1 quart each of their pumpkin and egg nog ice cream. We had some for dessert tonight and it was wonderful!

Tomorrow I am teaching both the 12-18 youth in Sunday School and the Elders Quorum. The youth get a lesson on Eternal Marriage (we just finished the lesson on Chastity last week - so a natural segue) and the brethren get a lesson on Baptism. I love teaching, so it hardly seems like a burden to do so at church. I just hope that the Spirit will be with me - because that's who really teaches.

Brad

Finding an escape...

The atmosphere at OCC is absolutely poison. I am therefore going to fall back on some classic coping mechanisms - avoidance and escapism.

Fortunately, my drugs of choice are: my classes, the clubs I advise, my wife and children, my church calling, and the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend! Much better than Four Loko - but I really wouldn't know.

So, I spoke with one of the librarians at OCC and she indicated that we had a "chess and strategic games" club on campus. I am currently the interim adviser to the "Gamers" club, and we thought that those clubs may be one and the same. I have since found out that they are not. However, she wants to hold a holiday "board game" party. Only board games will be allowed (that means no pokemon, D & D, or other card-based role-playing games) and it will be open to the public. I think we could do it as a fund-raiser for a charity of her choice (donations at the door) and really have a great time with students, faculty, staff, and the general public. I know my boys would love it - I plan to take Axis & Allies, Fortress America, and Conquest of the Empire. I figure others will bring more traditional board games (Risk, Stratego, Chess, Checkers, etc.) and I don't want to subject them to some of my Avalon Hill games that have more involved rules (Frederick the Great, Panzer Blitz, Fortress Europa, etc.)

The club officially lists 91 members at OCC - so I hope it is alive and active. I have requested membership and inquired about the adviser and leadership. If it is not active, I would love to help activate it.

Ah, that was refreshing! It's always nice to focus on the positive aspects of my job!

This weekend we have plans to rake the massive amount of leaves in our yard and buy our last round of ice cream from Rich's II before it closes for the season (until mid-April.)

I've been losing weight this fall and may not be up to my usual Thanksgiving Day performance. Hopefully the ice cream will prepare me.

Brad

It's not my fault - really.

So I didn't get to post last night and here's why...

I was in Atlantic City for the New Jersey League of Municipalities Conference with several students from one of the many clubs I advise. After attending the first day's meetings we checked-in at Bally's and settled into our rooms. I started up Destro (my laptop is named Destro) to check my e-mail and post; however, I found that the wi-fi cost $12.99 per day! I decided then and there that skipping a day was better than spending that much for internet access. So I relaxed, went to the Irish Pub for dinner: corned-beef sandwich (with slaw and dressing), steak fries, and carrot cake for dessert (all for just over $9!)

Today's morning meetings went well and we were able to get back to OCC in the mid-afternoon. The mood in my academic school was depressing. I think one of my colleagues had been "officially" informed that her contract will not be renewed for next year. It was really bad - I was so glad when my wife and kids arrived to take me home.

Now, some may say that the economy is what is causing the negative vibe at work. That's like saying that the economy created the Tea Party as a national movement. It certainly contributed, but other factors played a far bigger role.

Brad

Catching the true Christmas spirit (finally!)

My wife and I have been searching through our credit card reward points looking for gift ideas for everyone in our little family. As I looked through all the items, I could not find anything that I wanted enough to "spend points" to get. DVDs? Nope, I've got netflix (on demand via the Wii) CDs? Nope, I can find anything I really want through cheaper or more song-specific means. Books? Nope, the library (OCC or Ocean County College - including inter-library loan.) That pattern continued through everything I could think of. The practical things I want are too expensive (tool set, propane powered mulching mower, leaf blower/bagger, etc) and the smaller things were too easy to rationalize away.

I needed to find something I really wanted (not just needed.) I think I finally did. I won't say what, because I think a large man who lives north of us and likes red (no, not Governor Christie) might be involved. Although it has no practical use, I am really excited about it. I think that's so cool! Maybe this is what Christmas should be about (and I've been missing the point) - making people feel happy and loved, not simply providing what they need.

That idea can go beyond the gift-giving to include the entire Christmas season.

Brad

O how things have changed...

After my last post, things really went downhill at OCC. A new policy that "caps" the percentage of full-time faculty that can be tenured at any time has done serious damage to any positive atmosphere on campus - especially among the non-tenured faculty. Basically, the numbers do not add up to allow all those who are eligible for tenure over the next two years to be granted tenure. NJ state law requires tenure or termination at the start of the 6th year of teaching for county colleges. So we are all a little worried. I know I am an excellent professor and colleague; however, some events during the early Fall have cast some doubt on my own tenure expectations.

No matter what happens, I know that my Heavenly Father directed me to this job. He has always been there for me I have always tried to follow Him. I know that no matter what happens, it will be for His purpose (and my good.)

I know that is a bit of a downer for a 1st post back. I will have more positive posts. I plan to post everyday between now and Christmas. If I can do that, I will definitely have established a habit.

Brad